What's in a Name?

It's 10:25am on Friday and I just put my mom and dad in a cab to the airport for their trip home. Our goodbyes weren't too bad! My dad and I were distracted by a little drama with securing a cab, but by the look of my mom, I think she had a private, teary goodbye with Nathan inside. I can't wait to blog about their trip.

Beepa, Gram and Nathan on our balcony in Seongbuk-dong

But first:

One of the typical questions people ask a pregnant couple is whether they have picked a name. Early on, Kyle and I decided not to share name choices, partly because we didn't want to be influenced by anyone's opinion. Another reason, at least for the boy's name, was because we wanted to ask permission to use the name Nathan William, as it is very special, indeed.

Why?

Well, since it's really not my story to tell, I asked my mom and dad to "guest blog" about the name Nathan William. Here's what they wrote:

There are so many ways to honor a memory, a friend, a family member or an idea.  When Nathan William Crockett arrived May 28, 2011, honor was bestowed upon our family.  Just as we identified a namesake for Cheryl’s brother Tom Clark when we chose to name our son Thomas Clark Bupp, Shelby and Kyle honored the memory of our third child, first son, Nathan William by presenting their first-born with his late uncle’s name.

There are not many who know of Nathan W. Bupp.  In addition to his mother and me, family and some very close friends who have been constant throughout our lives, few others know that our family totals five children.

 Our Nathan arrived October 30, 1972, a birth date shared by our granddaughter, Sydney Elizabeth Bupp.  He was a beautiful boy, stillborn due to complications of ‘Abruptia Placenta’ depriving him of oxygen. 

‘Natey Wi’ as his parents call him, honors his uncle and ‘Beepa’ continuing “William” into a fourth generation of the Bupp family.  Indeed, the naming of ‘Natey Wi’ summoned tears of pride to flow abundantly.

So that's why, sometime in October, 2010, we called my parents to ask them if we could use the name Nathan William if our baby was a boy (something, for the record, Kyle was SURE about since the first positive pregnancy test).

To our delight, both my parents did not hesitate to say yes and indicated that they would be honored. Thanks, mom and dad.

Crocketts, party of three!

And that's what's in this name.

:)sbc

And Natey-Wi Makes Three

Nathan William Crockett was born a week and a half ago--and, oh baby, what a week and a half it has been.

Remember the “D is for Doula” post? If so, you’ll recall that our goal was to have a safe and positive experience. Most—if not all—of our prenatal preparation focused on those two things: Be safe. Be Positive.  Good thing, because our birth plan was just that: A plan, but not our reality.

As you know, we tried everything (both PG and R) to naturally induce labor. Finally, we reached the marker (twice delayed by our request) that we agreed with our doctor would result in an induction.

Thursday, May 26, we checked into the hospital around noon. We spent the day hanging out and trying to enjoy the day while the contractions got stronger and stronger. Meanwhile, Kyle ran between the hospital and the house to check on the workers. Note: at the time of induction the final and most messy stage of our remodel was in full swing.

Wallpaper stage

Anyway, it went on like this over the next two days. When they stopped the meds at night and for periods during the day, the contractions stopped. By Saturday, May 28, we had given it several good tries over 48 hours, but not achieved active, productive labor. I didn’t even dilate.  I was almost 43 weeks pregnant. Now it was time to try something new: C-section delivery.

I think the point that all of our preparation paid off was Saturday. We reached the end of our induction window—someplace I never imagined we would be. Nonetheless, neither Kyle nor I were willing to ask any more of my body or of Baby C.  We remained focused on having a positive, safe experience—and that was more important that sticking to our ideal birth plan. So once we decided, on our own terms (waiting a little longer than our doctor had scheduled), to be induced it was easy again to change lanes and decide on a c-section. I think that is my favorite thing about Nathan’s birth—it was far from the birth we envisioned, but still beautiful and calm and joyous because we were given a chance to make every decision together with confidence as the circumstance warranted.  For this I appreciate so much our Doula and Doctor.

It was difficult, gauging by Kyle’s reaction, for Kyle to see me go into surgery. Through a teary smile, he asked me to remind Dr. Kwon that she said she would take very good care of me. I relayed the message and she smiled warmly and said as if I had just selected a really nice bottle of wine, “I will take great care of you and we have an exemplary team this evening. Now let’s meet your baby!”

I heard a cry.

I said, “Is that my baby?”

Dr. Kwon said, “Yes, Shelby, that is your son!”

I closed my eyes and smiled and took a deep breath, “Nathan. His name is Nathan.”

(Dr. Kwon later told me he is easily the biggest baby she has delivered this year).

Fresh bun from the oven

They put his warm, naked body on my bare chest. He immediately started rooting. The nurse helped me put him on my breast, where he was at home. He was perfect. I was so happy that it didn’t occur to me to count fingers or toes. I didn’t notice his size or length. I just kissed him and kissed him and he sucked and sucked. 

Then he was brought to Kyle. Have a tissue handy for this cute video.

Back in our room, I was recovering and Kyle had just met with the pediatrician. Nathan had aspirated meconium (swallowed some poo in utero) and was being carefully observed in the NICU overnight.  We were a little worried but optimistic.  We began to share the news of Nathan. I called my mom and said, “Mom, I have a son!”  Kyle called his mom and said, “It’s a little—well not so little—boy!”

The next morning, my goal was to get Nathan discharged from the NICU. I knew that if he was in the NICU, he couldn’t room-in with us. I needed him with us.

Severance, while an internationally recognized pediatric care facility, is known for its conservative treatment. And that is just what Nathan got.

He was easily twice the size of the other babies in the NICU, where he would be a resident until Thursday. For four long, acutely painful days, we were allowed two, twenty minute visits a day.  I wept through most of them.

We fought to have them let us hold him and touch him. My doctor is the head of Obstetrics and knowing how hard it was for us to not have him with us, and that his situation was not likely to be serious, she organized a meeting with us and the head of Pediatrics and shared with him our culture/expectations to be in more significant contact with Nathan. Soon after the meeting, we were invited to the NICU early to feed, bathe and touch Nathan. To make sure there was no confusion (which had previously resulted in fear and worry), the International Clinic always had a translator meet us in the NICU.

Thursday we took him home.  Kyle dropped us off and headed to the airport to pick up my parents.  Nathan and I picked up right where we left off.

Take me home, Daddy!

Nathan, Gram and Kyle

I remember last week thinking that I couldn’t wait to be on the “other side” of the NICU and be home and writing this blog knowing that Nathan is fine and thriving (and gassy and hungry and chubby right down to his adorable earlobes) and bonding with Kyle and me.

Nathan & Kyle

And here I am, on the last paragraph of this blog. And he is--indeed--fine and bonding and gassy and chubby. And he is thriving—all TEN POUNDS, THIRTEEN OUNCES and 21.1 INCHES of him.

Gram and Nathan

Newborn onesies moved straight to storage--skin tight!

After a satisfying meal

Napping with Beepa

Nathan William Crockett
May 28, 2011 @ 8:25 pm
10 lbs, 13 oz
21.1 inches

Jsbc

Come Hell or Broken Water

If there is a natural way to induce labor, believe me we have tried it--except for Castor Oil, which I cannot find in Korea (gee shucks). The breast pump gives me the best contractions but is the least enjoyable. Acupuncture is relaxing and the signs on the way are a bonus!

This view is me looking down at my tummy.
Five in my tummy, one in each hand, more on my inner calves, feet and pinky toes,
then they burn the herbs (also at the pinky toes)

And I thought my feet were bad. Seems like these pics would have
showcased a better "after" with a little mani/pedi, no?
 And I think the pic to the right is to correct bowed legs?
I had no idea that was something people didn't like about themselves.

The most popular procedure in Korea is blepharoplasty or eyelid surgery.

Kyle and I stayed busy through the due date and the weekend with all our various natural induction strategies and stocking up at Costco for my parents' visit .  And while we had not achieved active labor by Sunday, I felt like I could use a couple more days to try to go "on my own" rather than being induced.

After talking to our Doula Sunday night, we made the decision to ask our doc to let us go a few more days.  I just really wasn't ready and felt true anxiety about being induced. I even cried. I really surprised myself.  Lisa (our Doula) said that it was our decision and that if we felt that strongly that we should talk to our doctor. I must say, I appreciate that Lisa is able to support and inform without offering an opinion.  On Monday Dr. Kwon agreed to delay the induction until Thursday.  Note: From what we've learned, Korean docs do not like to let people go past their due date. Dr. Kwon, very comfortable dealing with expats, has been most agreeable to our wishes, mostly because I have had such an "unremarkable" pregnancy.

Kyle took the week off in anticipation of our labor being induced on Tuesday. He was a very good sport, indeed, about supporting me in delaying the induction, even though he was scheduled to be off work. He was like, "It will be just the two of us hanging out, it will be fun!" And it has been. I told him he could go into the office, but he admitted--mostly because of the little episode of anxiety Sunday--that he would rather be here to keep me relaxed and calm. Yes, he is really that sweet.

Staying relaxed has been a challenge for both of us, I will admit, but not because of Baby C. More because of this:

Living Room
(we spent the day upstairs playing Wii and having a picnic lunch using our ironing board as a table)

Kitchen
(needless to say we ordered out for lunch)

Pete hasn't really had a problem staying relaxed.

Demonstrating the proper use of a body pillow

Anyway, contractions are more severe as time passes (pretty brutal one right now actually) even though they are not yet steady for more than four or five hours. I don't know what happened, but I no longer feel anxiety about the induction.

I feel like my body is ready and I feel positive about the result that might come from giving my body a little push, where on Monday I felt like I was racing against a deadline and was usurping my own natural process.

So, come hell or broken water, Baby C will be on his or her way!

:)sbc

PS--I finally had a "gender" dream last night: Twins. African American. Girls. I remember in my dream putting my arm against their bodies and being like, "Yeah, that is pretty close." So much for having a dream about the gender!

When I told my mom my dream this morning, she said that I am ready because I am now hallucinating. Hahahaha!

Can't Hurt, Might Help

Baby C is pretty smart. I think he or she is waiting until our house doesn't look like this anymore:

Remember the movie "ET?" That's my house right now

This is the work being done on the bathroom. Coming right along (really, they do work fast).

Wednesday's acupuncture appointment went well.  The facility is in an area called Gangnam. Very high rent, very pro-plastic surgery, very alternative medicine-y. This is one of many curious signs in the subway:

It's a chair that melts your butt away? No idea. Digging the stirrups, though.
 Wonder what the blue chair does. I can only imagine.
Oh, maybe that is her "after" and now she can fit into tiny chairs?
If only I could read Korean.

Dr. Royer is a very nice Austrian who knows my friend and Yoga teacher Katja, providing a nice ice breaker. After the small talk he put a few needles in my toes, inner shins, belly and one in each hand. It did not hurt (and, hey, it might help). Then, his assistant came to burn the herbs...moxum or something. I don't know. My job is to chill out, so that is what I do while she chats with me. 

Wednesday night I had contractions strong enough to wake me up. After about a half hour, I thought about getting into the bathtub to just relax and let the contractions keep coming, but they must have stopped because I fell back asleep.

Thursday started with acupuncture and then I met up with Dorie in Itaewon for "Sip and See" at Julianne's. Julianne is a friend and a designer and had a little art show/sale at her house.

Some pieces from a Chinese artist that Julianne reps.

Pieces from a Vietnamese artist

A little closer view

Next acupuncture is tomorrow morning. I will be sure to take a picture of more of the funny advertisements--maybe of the toe surgery poster, it's a good one. 

:)sbc

Estimated Due Date

Today is my estimated due date. Key word: Estimated. :)

We had a doc appointment Monday and everything (amniotic fluid, placenta, baby's position, blood pressure, etc) is fine...so we wait until Baby C--who has an estimated weight of 4kg (8.8 lbs)--says go.  Dr. Kwon will let us go to week 41 before she checks levels again.

I spent the morning at flower class, followed by a long, leisurely lunch with Nicole, Dorie and Susan.

Susan, me, Nicole at Susan's "wig party" a few weeks ago. Super fun!

I ended my afternoon at the Multicultural Center, in my continued quest to conquer GMarket (imagine if Ebay and Target had a baby...this would be GMarket) once and for all, but still couldn't get my domestic credit card to work (which really begs the question of having a domestic credit card if they do everything in their power to not let anyone but Koreans use them). The ladies there are so nice, they couldn't get my stuff to work either, so they put my purchases on their card and I gave them cash. And, they are going to establish my account for me online with the Korean version of the site and hopefully next time I will click right through!  Still no luck on the Dreft, but I'll keep looking.

Tomorrow we'll start with the usual Wednesday morning Yoga at my house, and then I have an acupuncture appointment at 4pm as recommended by our Doula. I have never been, so I am looking forward to it. Then we might have a baby. Or maybe we'll wait another day :)

:)sbc

PS--As I write this, Kyle is on the stairmaster and singing along to his ipod and from what I can tell, the current song is Michael Jackson's "Bad." So cute.

Nesting, Nesting, One-Two-Three

Today I am 38 weeks and three days pregnant.

38 weeks, three days

        

28 weeks

35 weeks

This morning I thought it might be fun to practice swaddling.
On Pete.
If you know Pete, you know that he loves three things: Me, food and being under a blanket.

A solid swaddle for sure

Signature Pete move: getting his face under the covers

Success! Fully hidden

Poor guy has no idea what is about to happen to our lives

But, let's give Pete some credit because he can certainly sense something is up. He stays close (closer than normal) and causes drama at meal time by slowing picking through his food and making little messy piles around the kitchen. Today he brought me a little mouthful and left it at my feet. Perhaps watching me bend to clean it up is amusing?

Messy

The baby's room is unpacked and mostly set up, just waiting on the wall decor (on its way). Oh, and the baby--waiting on that, too ;).

:)sbc

Spring Seoul Shower

Today I enjoyed a Baby Shower hosted by my good friends Dorie, Susan and Katja and attended by several of the friends I have made during my time in Seoul.

Events like this are especially fun because of the differences in our cultures. At least three of the guests had never been to a baby shower in their lives. It's just fun to learn all the little nuances.  The English call diapers nappies, strollers are prams and pacifiers are dumb-dumbs. In Sweden there is a special place (a petting zoo, if I recall) that has a tree that kids visit to hang up--literally and figuratively--their pacifiers and start life as a big boy or girl.  Then there is the gender guessing. The Kiwis think I am having a boy because I want fruit all the time. The Americans think it's a girl for the same reason.  I could go on and on.

It was so fun and I feel so loved.

Stork Cake
Made of expertly placed and decorated cupcakes--Genius!

Dorie, Susan, Shelby, Katja

My cupcake-cake and my nappie-cake

Delicious!
(I took the cupcake with the baby's face)

                

L to R: Paula, Nikki, Frances, Karin, Terri, Sue and Jesica

Jesica and Dorie

Paula and Frances

Jesica and Susan

Stephanie and Julianne

A very generous Spa Package from the group makes a girl smile :)

Year of the Rabbit:  Custom drawing on rice paper. Really cool.

I was very impressed by everyone's creativity. Shopping gender neutral is hard enough, but shopping gender neutral in Korea for western items must have been really challenging!

Thanks to all my lovely expat friends who help make Seoul feel just a little closer to home.

:)sbc