Primigravida

Primigravida: a woman who is pregnant for the first time or has been pregnant one time.


Also known as: A bun in the oven. Preggo. Pregs. With child. In the family way. Wearing the apron high. Knocked up. Expecting. On stork watch. Baby on board.


That's me!
Kyle and I are having a baby--we are so excited to share the news. 

Here's the scoop in the fun form of FAQ:

Q. How did this happen?
A. When a man and a woman really love each other....hehehehe just kidding.

Q. How far along are you?
A. 12 Weeks, just finishing the first trimester.

Q. When is the baby due?
A. May 17, 2011. 

Q. Are you sure it's just "one bun?"
A. Yes!

Q. Do you know what it is?
A. Yes. It is a baby.

Q. Will you learn the gender before the birth?
A. No. We think we're going to wait.

Q. Do you have a prediction on the gender?
A. Kyle thinks it is a boy. I don't have a sense. I get now why people say they don't care as long as it is healthy. We just want a healthy baby. 

Q. Do you have names picked out?
A. Some, but for now we're keeping them under our bonnet.

Q. Will you have the baby in Korea?
A. Yes. Fingers crossed that everything continues to progress smoothly, we'll deliver at Yongsei Severance Hospital, which is about 20 minutes from our house.

Q. Will the baby have duel citizenship?
A. No, that apparently is only a rule in the States.

Q. Are you excited? Scared?
A. Pretty much over the moon, and not scared YET. So excited, in fact, that I started the "draft" of this blog entry in mid October.

Q. When did you find out/know for sure?
A. September 11, 2010 (Sandy Crockett's birthday!)

Q. How many pregnancy tests did you take? 
A. Two.  Both Positive.  One in English and one in Korean :).  On Saturday morning (9/11), I took the one test we brought with us from the States. I sat on the edge of the bed to wait my two minutes and Kyle was like, "Well...?!" He apparently wasn't aware that you have to give it a spell before it gives you the results, and thought I was keeping a secret!  The second one was "in Korean" on Sunday morning (9/12). Since the directions were in Korean, we first confirmed with the pharmacist (after making the "international" sign for pregnant by pantomiming a big belly) that "Two line--you pregnant. One line--you no pregnant."

Q. What did you say when you saw the results?
A. Kyle, "YES!" 
    Shelby, "No way. No way. Holy shit." (Classy, I know, but I just couldn't believe it). 
    Then we kissed and laughed a lot. 

Q. Who was the first person you told.
A. My momma.  

Q. What did she say?
A. "Oh Shelby!" About 100 times.

Q. How do you feel?
A. Not going to lie, weeks five through nine were brutal. BRUTAL. Lots of foreign smells (kimchi is just the beginning) around here--not my strong suit. We have four bathrooms and I "visited" each and every one. I stopped walking the trail and I stopped preparing meals because I just couldn't handle food/food prep/eating.  Now I feel fine most of the day and go downhill fast after 5pm.

Q. Cravings?
A. Not really. Saltines.

Q. Can we post messages about this on your Facebook?
A. Absolutely--feel free! We just thought the blog was a fun way to share initially.

Q. What is the hardest part so far?
A. Not being able to tell people why I am not myself, for sure. And waiting a little longer to tell Kyle's mom (she has known since week 10). He wanted to wait just in case, and I totally get that. And there was also one really bad day, when I just was overwhelmed by the previous 14 hours vomiting and headaches that I cried really hard and begged Kyle to move home and he kept saying, "We can't." I regret that, even though I know he knows I was out of my mind.

Q. What is the best part so far?
A. Three things: 
One, If you request it, they do an ultra sound with every visit. So, at eight weeks, we got to see (basically a dangling blueberry) and to hear the heartbeat. We were totally not expecting/counting on hearing the heartbeat--my sister Jess even cautioned me, "Do not panic if you they can't find the heartbeat, it is very early, so don't worry if it doesn't happen." But the tech cranked up the audio and there it was: 155 beautiful beats a minute. I just lost it--laughed and cried simultaneously, while Kyle grinned from ear to ear. 
Two, when I emailed the "picture of the blueberry" to my parents, I mentioned that it didn't look like much. My dad responded with, "It is very apparent to me, after viewing both "photographs" of our newest grandchild that he/she is photogenic, active, intelligent, charismatic and much more than advertised!  You see, it is the perspective that determines what one sees. Love, Dad."
Three, Kyle whispers to my lower abdomen trying to convince the baby to like him the best.

Q. When you come to Michigan for the holidays, how pregnant will you be?
A. I will be home during my second trimester, weeks 17, 18 and 19 and part of 20 (December 7-28).

Q. Are you excited about your US visit over the holidays?
A. On a scale of 1-10, I'm about a 36. YES.

Q. What else are you thinking?
A. We are astounded, truly, thinking about how lucky and fortunate we are (so far). I am also thinking about friends that are trying to conceive and wondering/hoping if their announcement is right around the corner/due around the same time. That would be fun.

Q. Did you know that, TECHNICALLY, the term for your condition is "Elderly Primigravida" since you are 35?
A. Yes, and I choose to ignore that ugly prefix to my otherwise lovely status. 

Q. What sign covers your due date (May 17)?
A. Taurus.

Q. (Added October 17, 2010) Did you lie to anyone about being pregnant?
A. Sort of. I am sorry, Jen Geer! When you asked over Facebook chat if I had any news, I technically did not lie when I said that "Nothing to announce yet." I read your question aloud to Kyle, who reminded me that I promised him we would wait until he told his mom!

Q. Do you have a nickname for the baby?
A. No, nothing has stuck so far. 

Q. Does your doctor speak English?
A. Yes, very well. Dr. Kwon is very nice and we like her a lot so far. 

Baby Crockett, 11 1/2 weeks

:)sbc

Hats & Flowers

Last week ANZA (Australian and New Zealand Women's Association) held their annual Hat Party in preparation for The Melbourne Cup (think Kentucky Derby). Here's how it works: At the Hat Party you pick your favorite hats, and if you are lucky, you win one. Don't panic, everyone ends up with a hat. Those that didn't get one of their favorites for round one participate in another raffle-like scenario. So, you take your hat home and wear it a few weeks later (November 2) at ANZA's next party, The Melbourne Cup.  The stories from this event last year are great, so I am really looking to attending--with my beautiful hat--next week. 

The ladies picking out hats

The Jessica! I bid on this, but didn't win it

The Rebecca! Sorry I didn't win this one for ya, RBC!

Polly, Nicole, Susan, Dorie and Shelby

Flower arranging class provides our home with much needed decoration from week to week. Although, I admit, the class is a little stressful. The teacher, who really is adorable, is also quiet particular. Many times we share a giggle as she comes around to our stations and says, "Oh, not right!"

Setting up at Yoko's house

Last week's mascot, Bambi. The teacher was scared of him.  Wait until she meets Pete next week when I host. 

Starting to take shape.

Almost done with centerpieces

That's it for flowers and hats :)sbc

The Dark Side of the Moon

That's what I call this time of day.

It's usually from about 3pm to 6pm over here...when Kyle is at work, I am finished with my meetings or classes or social engagements (tough life, I know, I know) for the day, Pete is snoring, my TV choices are Ironman (third showing in as many days) or the very first season of CSI, and it is still the middle of the night over in the States. It's a lot quiet and a little bit lonely.

(If could find my list of all the fun and goodies I received from my bachelorette party, I could write my overdue thank you notes for that. But, I can't, so I will have to wait until I can look for it in Michigan (sorry). It's one of those things you totally remember packing because it would be a good thing to do while you got settled. Poof, gone).

Anyway, if you are reading this, I am probably missing you and thinking about you.
Don't worry (Mom), I am not sad. It's just a very, very quiet afternoon.

I hope you all wake up from your sweet dreams to a very productive and happy Wednesday. :)sbc

Vietnam

Here’s what I know: I am too old for red eye flights; A family of four can fit on a motorbike; Vietnam’s capital city of Hanoi is celebrating its 1,000th birthday; I am fortunate to live a life that has always included potable water.

Last Friday I accompanied Kyle on his business trip to Hanoi, Vietnam. Our hosts encouraged us to "come to Vietnam with a pleasant mind" and organized a day of sightseeing in Ha Long Bay for us. A photographer I am not, so you’ll just have to take my word for it that it was beautiful and amazing.

Our driver negotiated an unforgiving journey of two lane roads where the lines are merely a suggestion, and it only takes three hours if you can successfully pass the busses and weaving motorbikes while simultaneously avoiding the farmers using the "shoulder" to spread out their crop to dry. Both Kyle and I commented on the danger to the motorbikes, and indeed we didn’t have to wait long to see an accident. I didn’t really see it, but Kyle saw the man down and said there was blood on the road along with a stray helmet.

We arrived and met our tour guide Han. She escorted us to our charter and off we went. First stop was a grotto called Heaven Palace. Again, my little digital camera doesn’t do it justice, but it was really very neat. 

Stairway to Heaven (Palace)

We passed the Pond of 200 Children. The story goes that 100 children were taken by the father to populate another land, and 100 stayed back with the mother, and were kept alive by her breast (Han uses her laser pointer to direct us to a little pointy stone that apparently is the mothers breast). We continue past the face of Ho Chi Min (looked like Santa to me) and she grabs my arm to let Kyle go ahead and whispers to me, “Do you want to see what the husband left the wife to survive?” I said yes, and her laser points to a huge, stone, phallic shape. She giggled and giggled and said, “Penis in English, yes?"

Next, we had lunch on board. Fresh crab and shrimp and about a million other things. Delicious.

We arrived at the floating fishing villages—now these were just fascinating. With little more than a generator and paneling, these folks live and work on these floating homes. Hammocks hung over the low table surfaces, which I gathered meant sleeping and eating take place on the porch. School is too far of a commute, so there is like a central raft where the kids, regardless of their age/grade, go to school. Most of these people also kept pets. There were little dogs and cats everywhere—the cats were tied up. Kyle had a good point, “Where are they going to go?”

School

We pull up to a floating house and our next tour guide greets us. She gives me a hat and pushes me in the direction of what looks like it used to be a flat bottomed row boat. Oh wait, it still is…yikes. We get in.

We are rowed into some caves and under arches and are soon surrounded by limestone cliffs and beautiful water and jumping fish and scurrying crabs on the shore. Sometimes you see monkeys, but we were too late in the day. It was really something. Sidenote: Only the women row the boats. Hmph.

 

We sail around for a bit—long enough for them to sell me a bracelet that breaks that very night—and make three hour trek back. Whew, what a day, but both Kyle and I agree, it was worth six hours in the car.

Sunday we rested. We were tired, plus there was a city-wide celebration of the 1000^th birthday of the city of Hanoi. We were surrounded by people and parades.

Kyle was on business for most of the remainder the trip.  I made my way to the Old Quarter for some shopping, saw some other sites, enjoyed ESPN (live American TV!) and got a mani/pedi. I read that you could get a $4 mani/pedi in Vietnam, but I was lazy and got one at the hotel. $20 for BOTH--Still a bargain.

We had a fun evening out with Kyle’s delightful counterparts in Vietnam, who are both Korean. The manager and chef came out to greet them, as they are big wigs and regulars who "always bring important Americans."  Vietnamese food is very good.

We boarded our 1am flight and got home just in time for morning rush hour. We slept a few hours until Pete was delivered from the "farm" complete with a personalized CD with images from his little vacation. Super cute. The trainer says Pete’s name with an accent, so it sounds like "Pet."

Notice Pete is not the dog that has the little one by the neck.

All in all, Vietnam made me appreciate things—I appreciate that I don’t eat or sell anything at the side of the road, that I can drink the water, that I don’t wear a mask to prevent inhaling nastiness, that Seoul is modern and relatively clean, that radiant floor heat is standard and that it has a subway and bus system.

Parts of Vietnam are very beautiful, don’t get me wrong (I would like to visit the southern part next time), but I really appreciate that I have never had to fit a family of four on my bike.  

Here’s how they do it:  Dad drives and wears a helmet and mask. In between dad’s legs, a helmetless-but-masked child (seriously like three years old) stands with their hands on the “dash.” Sandwiched between dad and mom in the back is another standing, helmetless-but-masked toddler, holding dad’s shoulders for support and being held at the waist by a helmet-wearing, masked mom. If the child cannot stand, then they are in a little baby bjorn type thing on the back of mom. Seriously.

 :)sbc

Sophie & Shelby

Tonight on Skype I helped Sophie with her homework and "played school" (she was the teacher). Then she asked what I wanted to do next. I suggested we pick out her clothes for school the next day.

She picks out her puppy shirt, which has brown and just a little pink. Then my little fashionista says, "Hmm, I can't find my jeggings." We go through several scenarios trying to spark her memory of where they might be. No luck. She decides to go another direction and wear a pumpkin shirt and just "regular jeans."

"What shoes will you wear?" I asked.
"I don't think about shoes," she said.
"Shoes are a really important part of your outfit," I reply.
"Ok, I will think."

After she was asleep, Jess checked on her and found Sophie had indeed considered the importance of shoes.

A complete outfit!

:)sbc

My three C's: Cut, Class, Chair

Kyle, although loyal to Sara at Red the Salon in B'ham, left it to me to find someone that "makes the cut" for his rapidly growing hair. (Read: I get my haircut every six months. Kyle goes about every six weeks. I think I just found new justification for my LaMer budget).

Seriously though, through the helpful and always resourceful network of expats, we were referred to Lucy at a salon called Hair and Joy. (There is a whole other blog entry I could write regarding the use/misuse of the word joy over here...I digress). She speaks English, is very nice and works on Sundays: Sold.

Classes are moving along and I am enjoying both the people and the "lessons."

Touring: This Monday, we went to a place called Bakers Alley. I keep forgetting to take pics. I will do better.

Traditional Maedup: I call it knotting class, which teaches you to make a series of intricately beautiful knots.  I enjoy the other two GM spouses in the class very much, even though the knots are complex and difficult. We are on the simple things like necklaces.

Flower Arranging: I ripped on this class as the ultimate housewife class. Then a friend reminded me that you end up with beautiful fresh flowers in your house every week. Good point. I can use all the decorative items I can get!

This week, I attended my first general board meeting for the American Women's Club of Korea. I have agreed to serve as the Gala Chair, which is their annual fundraising event. I enjoy these women very much and am glad to be involved.

:)sbc