Baby C Goes to Bali

Jen Geer, a college roommate and veteran expat (who repatriated last July) gave me some sage advice when we were home for the Holidays: After your first trip home, plan a vacation--anything, just so you have something to look forward to after going home. It helps with the let down after the big trip home.  Good advice!

What started as a plan to have a long weekend over Lunar New Year in February turned into a week-long Bali vacation in March. We affectionately call it our "Post-Holiday/Pre-Baby/Shelby's-Birthday/Honeymoon" trip. It was wonderful.

Our butler Wayan gleefully arranged the timing and presentation of our meals with the chef, made sure Kyle had cold Coke in the fridge, scheduled our daily, in-villa massages or treatments with the spa staff, planned our outings and tours with our driver and made our dinner reservations when we decided to go out. The staff cleaned up after us and did our laundry every day (love coming back with a suitcase full of clean clothes!) and even went to buy me a floating ring so I could lie out in the sun on my tummy. Kyle read three or four books and got some much needed sleep. It was wonderful. Did I write that already?! Here come the pictures!

The outdoor portion of the master bath

Mosquito netted bed with inside living room & second full bath

We relaxed at the villa on the first day, during which I learned how easily a pregnant woman burns in the sun. I never burn! Ouch. But Wednesday took us to beautiful Geger Beach in Nusa Dua  for a morning walk and out to lunch. We had to be back by 3pm for our spa treatments and dinner at the villa at 7pm.  Busy, busy!

Crocketts (with burned chest!)

Kyle at Geger Beach after being solicited for a massage

Pregs says Hi!

  

  Our table for two in our outdoor living room, Kyle reading up on Bali

Thursday was mostly about relaxing in our pool in between breakfast, lunch and spa treatments and an evening out at the beautiful St. Regis: Drinks (mocktails for me) at the King Cole Bar and dinner at Kayuputi. Delicious.

Morning at the villa

St. Regis, Bali

St. Regis, Bali

This was the waiter's third try at a picture. "A" for effort!

Friday was FULL: Monkey Forest, a lovely lunch at Lamak, Mt. Batur (active volcano!) and Lake Batur, BAS Coffee Plantation and finally a seaside dinner at Breeze to watch the sun set.

Everybody loves babies

That looks like it might hurt

            

So tired

Rice Terraces on the way to Mt. Batur

Kyle and Pregs at Lake Batur

Lake Batur

                            

                      Mt. Batur (black is lava flow from last eruption)

I like to call the next stop "Taking Kyle to his People." If you know Kyle, you know how much he loves-loves-loves his coffee. Well, this isn't just any coffee. At BAS Coffee Plantation they produce (among other kinds) the most expensive coffee in the world: Luwak Coffee. We just called it Poo Coffee, since it comes from poop. We agreed that it is superior to the other coffees we tasted at the plantation (yes, we drank it. Delicious).

Kyle roasting his beans

Separating male and female beans--
Who knew?

Line 'em up! (Poo coffee is in the green pot)

It's really better?

Kyle is right at home

Because traffic in Bali is so congested, we changed in the car on the way to Seminyak Beach in order to make our dinner at Breeze on time. A beautiful sunset (and lemon scented wet washcloths thankfully) were waiting!

SBC & KDC

Dinner by sunset

Seminyak Beach sunset

Saturday was gladly spent relaxing, reading, listening to music and then heading to dinner at di Mare. My drink was called "Banana in Pajamas." Yum.

Kyle and his sarong preparing for a massage

S + K

Our table for two at di Mare

Sunday we took it easy and again, enjoyed a casual beachside lunch at La Lucciola and ended the day with a beautiful dinner at Kura Kura Grill in the Oberoi Hotel.

The baby belly

Lunch at La Lucciola

Blurry-blurry at Kura-Kura

Loving the set up, especially the salt and pepper

We headed back to the villa for a short nap before our 3:35am flight, where they even asked for my doctor's note before clearing me to fly. I thought I was in trouble, but the flight folks actually gave me lots of special treatment. Way to go, Baby C!

What a great trip. We are some truly lucky people.

:)sbc

More Magic in the Mail!

While we were away enjoying a sundrenched Bali vacation, two adorable, soft, handmade baby gifts arrived courtesy of Susan and Stenn Bowman.

The note said this is a sweater for Baby C to grow into. It is so soft!
And Susan even included  "other" buttons in case we thought the cute bugs were not gender neutral.
Adorable! 

Our yellow and blue 'M Go Blue' blanket.
Susan sent this cuddly gem with more ribbon colors to make it more gender specific once he/she is born.
Good Thinking!

Even a custom label.  We are impressed!

Thank you Aunt Susie and Uncle Stenn--you know we love getting mail, and these gifts are just perfect. You are so thoughtful.

Again, thank you! :)sbc

-------------------
PS--Jess asked me for a belly picture, and when I sent it, she mentioned I was always wearing the same pants: My pajamas.

Ok people, yes, I do change my clothes. I just always take the belly shot in the morning before I am out of my jammies! So for you, dear readers, a wardrobe change:

Somewhere between 32 and 33 weeks--and different pants!

D is for Doula

There are many, many things that are—at once—very fascinating and super challenging about being pregnant and planning to give birth outside of your home country.

Getting my seven-months-pregnant-self up the endless subway stairs or hill to my house = super challenging. 

Watching Kyle sleep and realizing he looks just like the baby’s 3-D ultrasound picture = very fascinating.

Sometimes it feels a lot like taking a class—reading books about motherhood and breastfeeding, marking my progress in journals, reading more books about fatherhood and birthing—you know, all the stuff I won’t have time for “next time around” (fingers crossed) and will hopefully have learned!  


Simultaneously we’re exposed to how “they do it over here.”  Starting out, the U.S. way of doing things was the standard by which we measured. With each event, milestone and trimester, we've learned, learned, and learned-some-more (and loosened that standard. A lot.)

I expected two or three predictable questions when sharing the news of my pregnancy: When are you due? What are you having? Where will you deliver (US or here)?

Instead, my news was most often met with: Do you have a Doula or a Midwife? Will you go to a birthing center or hospital?

Huh? What is a Doula? With this question, the referrals poured in. The idea of a Doula was new to me, but apparently not at all new to the expat community. I received emails from moms and dads alike. It was fascinating.

In technical terms, a Doula is a woman who provides non-medical support during labor, birth and the postpartum period. The word Doula (different link than previous) comes from the ancient Greek meaning "a woman who serves." 

Our certified Doula is named Lisa.  She has two children, the first was born under the care of Dr. Kwon (our doc). Her second was born at home via water birth.  Lisa will tell you she prefers the title Transition Coach: A person that helps couples transition from pregnancy through labor and birth into parenthood.

At first, our interest in hiring a Doula was mostly language related (Lisa speaks fluent Korean). I took my first meeting with Lisa thinking that it might make some sense to have a person in the room who could communicate with the various health care providers that were sure to be part of our experience before Dr. Kwon was in the room. (And to have someone to make sure I didn’t miss my last chance for an epidural--which I am no longer 100% sold on).

We met for coffee and chatted.

She asked what our goal was. I was like, “Ummm, I guess, to have a healthy baby.”

She said, “Let me ask this another way: What do you want from this experience—your first as parents?”

Wow. Just the first of many questions I hadn’t thought to ponder.

I brought home her material and reviewed it with Kyle. It took a while for him to come around to the idea of Lisa, but he kept an open mind remembering that we are giving birth far from home without the physical and emotional support of either of our moms, any of our sisters or our friends.  I don’t know that we would have given the idea of a Doula a second thought if we were in the States. But we weren’t. So we did.

Lisa came to the house to meet Kyle and Pete. I kept thinking my mother would love her, she’s a “everything in moderation” kind of gal. Want coffee? Have some from time to time. Don’t be afraid of soft cheese, just don’t eat it every day. And so on.

She made a point that has really stuck with us: Think about how much planning and time go into your wedding day/honeymoon or buying a house. These are life-changing events that you prepare for and that carry a significant financial obligation. A child is at least as important as these things, yet, many leave all the decision making to the doctor. You are a parent, not a patient.

She left us our required reading and we start childbirth classes later in March. I am researching the policies of our hospital as it relates to foreigners (discrimination is not against the law here and happens often) and visiting a birthing center. Like I said, with each event, milestone and trimester, we learn-learn-and-learn-some-more (and now laugh that we ever measured against a standard.)

I am learning answers to questions I have never even thought of asking.

I am learning there is not one right way to give birth, just a series of decisions you can prepare yourselves to make to ensure a positive, safe and healthy experience for baby and parents.

I am learning that every mom agrees on one thing: the experience, while as old as time, is unique to each woman. 

I am learning that what works for me may not be the preference of other women and vice versa. And that is ok.

I am learning to take everything with a grain of salt and ask most questions twice.

I am learning that I am thankful for the opportunity to have a child in another country because it challenges me to validate every assumption and expectation I have about “what is supposed to happen.”

I am learning.

I do look forward to the day when I look back at this blog entry “knowing what we now know/have learned,” and have an opinion on what we wrote--if I can stay awake long enough to dig it up from the archives, that is! 


Jsbc

The Package is Out in the Open*

The magic of the mail.
The promise of the post.
The beauty of the boxes.

Just in time for our trip to Bali (and my birthday) not one, but two packages arrived. When the doorbell rang at 6pm, I almost didn't answer. Then I thought, "What if it's the post man?"

Thing two

Thing one

And. 

It. 

Was.

Let's start with the treasures in box one.

Tank tops and bathing suits and breast pumps, oh my! And newborn onesies! And toothpaste (a tube of western toothpaste is about $7.50 here)! And a replacement container for my Cuisinart chopper! And contacts!  And mysteriously wrapped birthday gifts!

Now onto the magic surely in box number two. 

That looks like the teal tote from Beauty Week at Saks!

And, what's this? LaMer!

And GIRL SCOUT COOKIES (Thanks, Sophie)!

And Dove soap (like toothpaste, western soap is very expensive if you can even find it), and diaper bag inserts, and a waffle maker for Kyle (24 pack of Eggos is like $ 16.50). 

Thank you, thank you, thank you, Mom and Dad, for sending these packages! 

* Explanation of Title: 

"The package is out in the open," is from the first Mission Impossible movie, and my sisters and I say it when we are covertly exchanging and transporting Jessica's shorties. Yes, we 're that cheesy ;-)

:)sbc