The Ridgeback Review: June 2011

It's 10:25am on Friday and I just put my mom and dad in a cab to the airport for their trip home. Our goodbyes weren't too bad! My dad and I were distracted by a little drama with securing a cab, but by the look of my mom, I think she had a private, teary goodbye with Nathan inside. I can't wait to blog about their trip.

Beepa, Gram and Nathan on our balcony in Seongbuk-dong

But first:

One of the typical questions people ask a pregnant couple is whether they have picked a name. Early on, Kyle and I decided not to share name choices, partly because we didn't want to be influenced by anyone's opinion. Another reason, at least for the boy's name, was because we wanted to ask permission to use the name Nathan William, as it is very special, indeed.

Why?

Well, since it's really not my story to tell, I asked my mom and dad to "guest blog" about the name Nathan William. Here's what they wrote:

There are so many ways to honor a memory, a friend, a family member or an idea. When Nathan William Crockett arrived May 28, 2011, honor was bestowed upon our family. Just as we identified a namesake for Cheryl’s brother Tom Clark when we chose to name our son Thomas Clark Bupp, Shelby and Kyle honored the memory of our third child, first son, Nathan William by presenting their first-born with his late uncle’s name.

There are not many who know of Nathan W. Bupp. In addition to his mother and me, family and some very close friends who have been constant throughout our lives, few others know that our family totals five children.

Our Nathan arrived October 30, 1972, a birth date shared by our granddaughter, Sydney Elizabeth Bupp. He was a beautiful boy, stillborn due to complications of ‘Abruptia Placenta’ depriving him of oxygen.

‘Natey Wi’ as his parents call him, honors his uncle and ‘Beepa’ continuing “William” into a fourth generation of the Bupp family. Indeed, the naming of ‘Natey Wi’ summoned tears of pride to flow abundantly.

So that's why, sometime in October, 2010, we called my parents to ask them if we could use the name Nathan William if our baby was a boy (something, for the record, Kyle was SURE about since the first positive pregnancy test).

To our delight, both my parents did not hesitate to say yes and indicated that they would be honored. Thanks, mom and dad.

Crocketts, party of three!

And that's what's in this name.

:)sbc

Nathan William Crockett was born a week and a half ago--and, oh baby, what a week and a half it has been.

Remember the “D is for Doula” post? If so, you’ll recall that our goal was to have a safe and positive experience. Most—if not all—of our prenatal preparation focused on those two things: Be safe. Be Positive. Good thing, because our birth plan was just that: A plan, but not our reality.

As you know, we tried everything (both PG and R) to naturally induce labor. Finally, we reached the marker (twice delayed by our request) that we agreed with our doctor would result in an induction.

Thursday, May 26, we checked into the hospital around noon. We spent the day hanging out and trying to enjoy the day while the contractions got stronger and stronger. Meanwhile, Kyle ran between the hospital and the house to check on the workers. Note: at the time of induction the final and most messy stage of our remodel was in full swing.

Wallpaper stage

Anyway, it went on like this over the next two days. When they stopped the meds at night and for periods during the day, the contractions stopped. By Saturday, May 28, we had given it several good tries over 48 hours, but not achieved active, productive labor. I didn’t even dilate. I was almost 43 weeks pregnant. Now it was time to try something new: C-section delivery.

I think the point that all of our preparation paid off was Saturday. We reached the end of our induction window—someplace I never imagined we would be. Nonetheless, neither Kyle nor I were willing to ask any more of my body or of Baby C. We remained focused on having a positive, safe experience—and that was more important that sticking to our ideal birth plan. So once we decided, on our own terms (waiting a little longer than our doctor had scheduled), to be induced it was easy again to change lanes and decide on a c-section. I think that is my favorite thing about Nathan’s birth—it was far from the birth we envisioned, but still beautiful and calm and joyous because we were given a chance to make every decision together with confidence as the circumstance warranted. For this I appreciate so much our Doula and Doctor.

It was difficult, gauging by Kyle’s reaction, for Kyle to see me go into surgery. Through a teary smile, he asked me to remind Dr. Kwon that she said she would take very good care of me. I relayed the message and she smiled warmly and said as if I had just selected a really nice bottle of wine, “I will take great care of you and we have an exemplary team this evening. Now let’s meet your baby!”

I heard a cry.

I said, “Is that my baby?”

Dr. Kwon said, “Yes, Shelby, that is your son!”

I closed my eyes and smiled and took a deep breath, “Nathan. His name is Nathan.”

(Dr. Kwon later told me he is easily the biggest baby she has delivered this year).

Fresh bun from the oven

They put his warm, naked body on my bare chest. He immediately started rooting. The nurse helped me put him on my breast, where he was at home. He was perfect. I was so happy that it didn’t occur to me to count fingers or toes. I didn’t notice his size or length. I just kissed him and kissed him and he sucked and sucked.

Then he was brought to Kyle. Have a tissue handy for this cute video.

Back in our room, I was recovering and Kyle had just met with the pediatrician. Nathan had aspirated meconium (swallowed some poo in utero) and was being carefully observed in the NICU overnight. We were a little worried but optimistic. We began to share the news of Nathan. I called my mom and said, “Mom, I have a son!” Kyle called his mom and said, “It’s a little—well not so little—boy!”

The next morning, my goal was to get Nathan discharged from the NICU. I knew that if he was in the NICU, he couldn’t room-in with us. I needed him with us.

Severance, while an internationally recognized pediatric care facility, is known for its conservative treatment. And that is just what Nathan got.

He was easily twice the size of the other babies in the NICU, where he would be a resident until Thursday. For four long, acutely painful days, we were allowed two, twenty minute visits a day. I wept through most of them.

We fought to have them let us hold him and touch him. My doctor is the head of Obstetrics and knowing how hard it was for us to not have him with us, and that his situation was not likely to be serious, she organized a meeting with us and the head of Pediatrics and shared with him our culture/expectations to be in more significant contact with Nathan. Soon after the meeting, we were invited to the NICU early to feed, bathe and touch Nathan. To make sure there was no confusion (which had previously resulted in fear and worry), the International Clinic always had a translator meet us in the NICU.

Thursday we took him home. Kyle dropped us off and headed to the airport to pick up my parents. Nathan and I picked up right where we left off.

Take me home, Daddy!

Nathan, Gram and Kyle

I remember last week thinking that I couldn’t wait to be on the “other side” of the NICU and be home and writing this blog knowing that Nathan is fine and thriving (and gassy and hungry and chubby right down to his adorable earlobes) and bonding with Kyle and me.

Nathan & Kyle

And here I am, on the last paragraph of this blog. And he is--indeed--fine and bonding and gassy and chubby. And he is thriving—all TEN POUNDS, THIRTEEN OUNCES and 21.1 INCHES of him.